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Holmes (Feat. Tesla)
What is this? I'm calling for Great Expectations, the world's largest singles recrource and we're doin' a confidential survey of singles in your area...fun and easy. Are you single? Single. Are you unmarried? I am an individual; yeah, I'm a single person. ' You're a single person? '''Yes. I am not siamese of any of that crazy stuff, so... ' Are you currently in a meaningful relationship with someone? 'Umm, there's no meaning to it. ' What would your dating goals be, sir? Would it be do date a lot or develop a relationship or more for marriage? 'All of the above. ' If you had to pick... 'Polygamy. ' Thank you sir. '''No, I don't know. I'm interested in all of the above. I can't answer that. Is this a survey? Yes, it is. Okay, well then, go on. ' And what kind of work do you do? '''I'm a referee, national football league. ' And where have you worked at? 'Across the entire nation. ' And is there anything you dislike about being single? '''Hmm, unmarried? Have you ever wondered where quality singles go to meet one another? You know, I have. ''' Would you be interested in meeting and dating interesting singles like yourself? '''I don't want them to be ''anything ''like me. That's what I don't want. Do you undersatnd? Or... And how old are you? 27. ' And what is your first name? '''My first name? ' Uh-huh. 'Holmes. ' H-o-l-m-e-s? 'Correct. ' That's interesting--it's usually a last name. 'I know. ' Like, my name is usaally a last name. I'm named after Nikola Tesla. '''Tesla! Mhm. That's very interesting. ' You sound like a lot of the singles I speak with, since I've been doing my job. And we do have a fun, safe, and easy way to meet single women in your area. And the company's been in business for over twenty four years, and we thousands of members here in the metro area and after speaking with you, I think you would be a great member, so would I would like to do is... '''I appreciate that. ' And I'd like to have one of the membership representatives call you back to explain... 'I'll tell you what: Why don't you just send 'em over, and we'll have a little pasta and some wine. ' It doesn't work that way. '''What? You want some pasta or what? What they do is they call you and explain how it works. What would be the best time to call you? How'd you get my number? I'm just curious. ''' It's a computer. '''Did Claire give you my number? I'm gonna give her a hollar right after this. Tesla, you with me? Or... Well, so, what would be a good time to catch up with you? Uhh, Sunday night about 10 PM. And if you've got anybody, anybody in mind, just send 'em over. You know? It doesn't work like that, sir. Oh. What do you want? Money or what? Bye-bye. Category:Calls to LPC Category:Friendly chats